Got A Devil's Haircut
A few days ago I got my hair cut, and I realized an intriguing fact: Every person who has ever cut my hair has a name ending with a long E sound. Lest you doubt this mystery, I present the hairdressers:
Mommy: my first haircut and many more.
Shelley: also known as the “Hard Hat, Peanut Butter, and Mayonnaise Incident” or “The Girl with a Buzz.”
Marci: my sister, who while did not cut my hair, feathered my bangs one day for church. I think that is worth mentioning.
Me: that’s right; I cut my own hair several times. These were often the only times I ever got compliments on my cut—and with my genes, I think I should get praise just for having hair.
Nikki: a red-headed woman at Haircuts Plus who was the first hairdresser I ever requested on return visits. She was meticulous and fast, but best of all she did the shampoo after the haircut. Alas, she moved on to a fancy salon.
Mandy: the replacement to Nikki, and almost as good. (I mean no offense.)
Wendy: that’s right; my wife cut my hair for a few months. She stopped when she could no longer bear being associated with the tragedy that is my hair (you haven’t seen it? Find a picture of David Letterman.)
Lindsay: a fantastic hairstylist that used to cut hair in her own home. I say ‘used to’ because after cutting my hair once she quit the cut-at-home business forever.
Suzie: one of the more recent walk-in cuts here in Rochester.
Jenny Mahoney: a double-'ee' sound…amazing! And it was she that cut my hair most recently.
And this list does not include the occasional Candy, Kristi, Mindy, or Cindy. Is there a hidden message in all this?
Mommy: my first haircut and many more.
Shelley: also known as the “Hard Hat, Peanut Butter, and Mayonnaise Incident” or “The Girl with a Buzz.”
Marci: my sister, who while did not cut my hair, feathered my bangs one day for church. I think that is worth mentioning.
Me: that’s right; I cut my own hair several times. These were often the only times I ever got compliments on my cut—and with my genes, I think I should get praise just for having hair.
Nikki: a red-headed woman at Haircuts Plus who was the first hairdresser I ever requested on return visits. She was meticulous and fast, but best of all she did the shampoo after the haircut. Alas, she moved on to a fancy salon.
Mandy: the replacement to Nikki, and almost as good. (I mean no offense.)
Wendy: that’s right; my wife cut my hair for a few months. She stopped when she could no longer bear being associated with the tragedy that is my hair (you haven’t seen it? Find a picture of David Letterman.)
Lindsay: a fantastic hairstylist that used to cut hair in her own home. I say ‘used to’ because after cutting my hair once she quit the cut-at-home business forever.
Suzie: one of the more recent walk-in cuts here in Rochester.
Jenny Mahoney: a double-'ee' sound…amazing! And it was she that cut my hair most recently.
And this list does not include the occasional Candy, Kristi, Mindy, or Cindy. Is there a hidden message in all this?
posted by BrianJ @ 10:42 PM
5 Comments:
At 10 October, 2005 19:21,
Anonymous said…
The most disturbing part of that story was picturing you thumbing through your "people who ever cut my hair" little black book.
At 11 October, 2005 01:30,
Anonymous said…
In my adult years, the subject of gum...peanut butter...scissors, or jam...scissors has come up. It always amazes me when I meet people who never experienced this part of childhood. Aren't we lucky to have grown up with scissors within reach!
And, yes! David, who remebers that kind of stuff? Brian, chalk this down as "Google 0, Brian 1".
At 11 October, 2005 01:39,
Anonymous said…
A couple years ago I saw this guy in the security cam at the bank. I thought, "that bald guy needs to give it up, he ain't fooling anybody trying to hide his thin scalp." I realized I was looking at myself and so now I buzz it. I think you should consider the buzz.
At 19 October, 2005 13:39,
Anonymous said…
I did NOT have a buzz.
At 19 October, 2005 14:51,
BrianJ said…
shelley--please refrain from writing revisionist history on my blog. The facts are well-known and I insist that you stick to them--my blog, my rules.
Anyway, I don't know why you oppugn the legacy of your clippered locks. Cathy made it clear that she idolozed your style, your daring, when twenty years later she had finally mustered the nerve to copy your cut.
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