When Kids Really Get It

As a father, I hope my daughters can really understand the reasons for the rules we have. When they do, it means we don't have to address the same or similar problems repeatedly. Instead, they make good decisions based on correct principles. A story will illustrate what I mean:

My four year-old, Ann, was playing with a friend, Jasmina, on the playground. According to Ann, another girl came up to them and started saying mean things to them. Ann and Jasmina responded by saying mean things back. The girl ran away crying and I had to have a discussion with Ann. The point I tried to make was this:

When you do mean things, no matter what the reason, you lose the Spirit in your heart. So it is always better to be nice to others--even when they are being mean--because at least you will know in your heart that you are doing what is right.

A few weeks later Ann came crying to me from the playground. Two girls--her friends--were saying mean things to her:

Me (concerned): What did you do?
Ann: I told them I just wanted to be their friend.
Me: And what did they do?
Ann (sadly): They kept saying the mean things, but I didn't say them back because I wanted the Spirit in my heart.
Me (proudly): That is right, Ann.
Ann (with brows scrunched and one fist clenched): But I wanted so bad to say something mean back!